No More Urges

I know a little about Urges. As I embarked on my journey to be intentional, my brain became the master of urges. With every trip to the kitchen, my plan to be intentional was being confronted with the steady beat of an urge. It was like that annoying song you can’t get out of your head.

It’s just a few gummy bears. A handful of chips doesn’t even count. You’ve been good all week and deserve a couple glasses of wine.

Urges are like a toddler throwing a tantrum in Target. It may feel like you only have a few options:

Give in and reward the behavior just to make it stop. (For now.)

Resist and the tantrum intensifies and you eventually can’t take it and give in.

The brain is just doing what we’ve taught it. It’s a vicious cycle.

Indulge in a False pleasure (Candy, Chips, Wine). This creates a False desire (an urge for more). This leads to a reward of the same False pleasure. The more you indulge, the more you need.

The trick is to actually to break the cycle. And that’s where option 3 comes in.

When you feel the urge, the trick is to do nothing.

Your brain will tell you that doing nothing isn’t an option. You must satisfy the urge. It will up the stakes over and over.

And you will still do nothing.

It will be uncomfortable. Do nothing anyway.

Eventually, and faster than you think, the urge will dissipate.

You will discover that you don’t need and didn’t even want whatever your brain told you.

And then do it all over again for Every Single Urge.

The urges will stop, and you will be clear to make an intentional choice about what you need or want. Maybe it is water. Maybe you were bored and just needed to walk around or get some fresh air. Maybe you just needed to stand up and refocus. Maybe you need to sit with being frustrated over a another long Zoom meeting with no point.

Process what you are actually feeling and what will actually serve you in the moment and long term.

Urges are harmless. They have no authority over you. Zero.

Need help being intentional? I would love to help.