Get Curious!

Once when I was in my twenties, I was having a conversation with a friend of a friend. We didn’t know each other well. During a casual conversation about music this person made a big deal about how awful they thought a song was that I had just mentioned that I liked. I said nothing. I allowed them to go on and on about their superior musical knowledge. I replayed the scene many times over the years and felt embarrassed as if my choice was inferior or wrong and that meant I was inferior and wrong.

Fast forward to an interaction with a work colleague and a similar conversation about my favorite band. This person practically laughed. This time I was confrontational. It felt so personal and unnecessary for them to bash my band. I put on my tough guy persona and my I don’t care attitude. Who the heck are they? I told myself, I don’t like this person. I find them pretentious and arrogant and who cares what they think.

And fast forward to now. My husband and I were discussing shows we were streaming with friends. We mentioned one that we had just finished. It was average. We thought there were some interesting moments, and we might watch the next season. Our friend went into a mini tirade about how absolutely awful it was and why would anyone watch it past the first couple of episodes.

This time my reaction was curiosity. Why did this show cause such a negative reaction? Who actually cares?

My 20-year-old self would have cowered and focused on how inferior I felt.

My 40-year-old self would have come out swinging.

But now, I realize that I get to choose what I make a comment like that mean. And that instead of judging myself and that person I can just be curious about it.

Opinions are just words that are neutral until you have a thought about them. Your thought makes them mean something.

What is happening in your life that you are making mean something it doesn’t?

What do you do when someone has a different opinion or perspective? How do you feel? How do you react?

Get curious instead of hiding or defending.

Take a minute and give yourself and that person some grace.