All or Nothing

All or Nothing. You are good or you are bad. You win or you lose. You succeed or you fail. I’m a good parent/partner/friend or a bad parent/partner/friend.

I use all or nothing thinking to stay stuck. It’s how I put off something I think I can’t do because it is too hard, or I don’t have time or I just don't want to do it.

I tell myself, on Monday, I’ll work out every day. Monday passes without exercising, so of course the whole week is wasted. No one starts on Tuesday or the second day of the month or the middle of the week. You should work out every day to be fit and now I have already missed day one. I’m lazy, unmotivated and will never be fit.

All or nothing thinking satisfies our version of perfectionism. It’s only good enough if we complete the whole task perfectly. That thought keeps us from having and accomplishing all that we want. It keeps us from growing and our self judgement manifests into staying stuck.

Perfection is a fantasy. All or nothing keeps us in a loop of indecision, and we just keep getting ready. The truth is I can start today. I can start on any day. I can even skip a day and don’t have to quit.

How are you using all or nothing in your relationships, career, or goals to stay stuck?